All About Light Bulbs......

Pastor Forsee shared this last Sunday with the church....

All About Light Bulbs………….

1. How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray that the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.

3. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

4. How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?

At least 10, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree that the light bulb exists they still might not change it, to keep from offending those who might use other forms of light.

5. How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, because any more might result in to much cooperation.

6. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

What’s a light bulb?

7. How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb?

Youth pastors aren’t around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.

8. How many members of an established fundamental Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?

One to actually change the bulb and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

9. How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?

This statement was issued: “We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need of a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, florescent, three-way, long life and tinted-all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

10. How many conservative holiness does it take to change a light bulb?

Change???